Let's Be Real
A recent exchange with a couple of dear friends of mine got me thinking.
The discussion was about a workplace in which we all met and worked closely in the same department, of which, we had suffered the same consequence when the department was sold out from under us to another company. It came up in the thread of conversation about what I do in my practice. One of my friends wrote ‘isn’t that your thing teaching people how to be positive?’ and my reply was ‘I teach people how to be real.’
Being positive 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year is not being a human being, that’s being a Gameshow Host. We seem to forget that we are complex beings with many, many emotions and I can’t stress enough how important it is to feel and honour your emotions…otherwise we become robots.
Now let me make a distinction here - I’m not condoning acts of violence, revenge or hatred. We control our emotions they don’t control us. It’s not a crime to feel negativity, THE SKILL IS NOT TO ACT ON IT, OR, ACT IT OUT ON ANOTHER PERSON.
You have every right to feel sad, angry, pissed off, frustrated or hurt…then recognise it for what it is…seek understanding of why you feel that way…accept it…deal with it or change it…and develop your conditioning (or triggers) in order to deal with it in the future.
More often than not, someone impacting you in a negative way is more about them than it is about you. For example, we felt really cheated that we were lied to about our job security in that organisation. We felt like we didn’t matter, we were expendable and our hard work and efforts weren’t good enough. In actual fact we were an awesome team and awesome individuals and it had nothing to do with our performance. We were better than ‘good enough’…it was more about the poor integrity of the business and the lack of care-factor of the decision makers…and quite frankly I’m sure a number of us (if I can speak for the others) are much happier and much better off on our new paths.
More harm than good can come from ‘glossing it over’ (in other words, repressing). Repressing is not dealing with it and avoidance leads to the development of other problems. It can also be referred to as ‘false growth’ and as mentioned in my other article, mental and emotional issues left unattended can result in physical ailments.
Achieving balance and being ‘real’ about the situation is the aim, not glossing everything over with forced positivity. Accepting there is light and dark in us all helps achieve that balance and accepting that it’s ok to feel negative helps an individual work towards self-acceptance.
Let’s be real.
Please feel free to contact me with any comments, questions or to have a brief chat about how I can assist you.